with celia here.. I decide you need to come with us.. i will carry you.. let you walk.. let YOU have the show.. so AT and I head to ginza as I MUST check out the barneys there.. to see if its better than the yokahama one.. again.. has a japan twist on it.. they dress much to fancy for me.. but I score a sweet necessary hat.. WHICH btw .. while wearing it.. AT makes ME LAUGH SOOOOO hard.. telling you kids.. my new name is tiny tim..... makes me laugh again right now.. he is simply funny.. NOT RIGHT.. but for sure funny..
i am VERY confidant when it comes to AT knocking my fashion.. you soon will learn for yourself.. why..... can we just talk jackets for starters??

NEXT!!!!

i know RIGHT NOW.. this day will come FAR too fast!!!!!! i could not help but think of your own wedding day.. as you are SO girl..
today even at church.. the 3 rd hour the YM came in to take over... you started going off..
oh pretty shoes.. I like you shoes..
I like your belt.. so cute.. oh so pretty..
NO WAY THOSE it didn't make those girl actually feel pretty.. as you were noticing all their prettiness..
then the KILLER.. KICKER was after church an older lady.. lets be safe and say late 50's was wearing green lucky clover earrings.. and BRIGHT HOT PINK lipstick against her bright red hair.. she was getting on her bike.. ( she is english btw)
we were chatting a bit. and you just made sure to have her lean down so you could touch her pretty lips.. to let her know. this shade is SO pretty.. OH YOUR EARRINGS.. SO pretty.......
truly YOU are just a delight!!!! may i soak it up MORE!!!! honestly I just cant wait to take you back to alpine.. where there are a plethora of pretty girls to play pretty fancy...... you will just die every day twice over!!!!!!

getting ready for the curry party.. this was a practice day... as YOU ended up missing the party.. as you were TOO nervous.. and I KNOW why.. you don't EVEN pull NOT eating at school.. if teacher says do it .. you DO.. so with the FEAR of what you KNEW would be in the curry.. you sold me a good story of why you should not attend the curry party.. at first you started hopping around like your leg was broke.. didn't work. COME ON... tad.. you just broke it while SITTING??
next mom I will miss jonah party.. TAD PROMISE doesn't start till LONG after you get home..
SOOOOOOOOOOO with it RAINY like crazy.. not just down.. but side ways too..
I opted for staying home with me!!!!!! lucky me!!!!
btw your leg started working again.. it was a MIRACLE right before our eyes..

needing a family day.. we head to tokyo dome.. we saw a live show of power rangers which SCARED the crap out of ALL the kids.. they all cried accept for jonah.. now was jonah scared i am sure.. but he is one to hold back emotion.. but as the week has told.. you really were not scared...
were TAD!!!! you wont even PEE without someone looking at you.. it has been one week.. this has continued the WHOLE WEEK.. i can be in our room.. which directly faces the bathroom its NOT enough that i am in the room.. i have to be LOOKING at you the WHOLE time..
i have asked you to do several normal things.. pre show.. where you RUN HALF way down the dark hall way.. to come charging back.... i cant i cant...
you get out of the shower and will stand by me nakie..until i come with you to the bedroom.. NEVER MIND THIS IS THE SMALLEST APT.. EVER!!!!!!!
you come and be ever so quite if I am putting trues to bed.. or ozzy.. you just NEED body heat.. more now than ever..
i am thinking i will miss it.....
MOM did you lock the doors.. i feel a spencer coming on.. of closing the house down tight!!!!!

okay i WILL miss saying jonah.. run to 7-11 get some popsicles.. run to mimi's get some bread..
I suppose having a car comes with the price of everything being so far.. here.. really everything is a short bike ride away..
eye doctor
videos
food..
restaurants.. GOOD ones...
drug store
museum COOL ONE
BEST PRODUCE STAND
kids doctor
hospital
vet..
actually as I start making the list..... its nice and all.. but i WANT MY CAR!!!!! and i really will only miss... jonah feeling so well accomplished like he has helped me out... and done something for himself..
he can mow the lawn.... pull some weeds.....etc.. etc.....
then go to the deep freeze and help himself.. with the BIGGEST variety of popsicles I picked up in my CAR at COSTCO..
8 min drive away.......

love at home.. i am still feeling it.. like a flower getting water.......... slowly if you watch.. you can actually see it plump up!!!!!
watched it with my orchid after reading a yoga quote...
well tonight.. i was giving jonah high touch.. telling him.. MAN i am GLAD you have stayed home with me.. my sweet jonah is back... you say cause your sweet jonah isn't getting beat up anymore.. OH MY WORD!!!!!!!
with a LISTENING tad.. STARTING to go into... hey.. i think i should stay home to kids are mean to me!!!!! ( which I am sure.. but DUDE.. you are TAD.. you wont STAND for thinking that someone doesn't think you are IT!!!!!
.. I tell jonah.. hey jonah-kun lets give props where props are due!!!!
tad high touch for being SO strong.. and DOING it... then tad starts to say.. yeah!!!! when the kids are mean to me.. I just YELL EDETE???????? then they let me play.....
as he has told me many times..
the girls are MEAN.. I ask them if I can play and they say no!!!!!
as it goes like this..
tad... edete???
girls... dame
( tad is looking for an eyo )
SOOOOOOO we all laughed as tad was like.. when I YELL IT SUPER loud.. EDETE!!!!! they let me play.......
TAD... thank you.. thank you for being strong for not only yourself... but for the whole family.. I have realized there really have been times you have carried us all !!! little warrior....

FLANAGIN.. is HERE.. lets have him help us.. with some team, self esteem building!!!!!! 12 week course.. you listen to each disk over and over again for a week.. then move on to the next disk!!!!! OF COURE tad's on it!!!!!

this here 7-11 has been good to us!!!!! jonah has lately been doing daily runs for popsicles.. he even gets home tries it out..to find out its a dud.. so he runs back again!!!!!
i wonder if I would let you run to the junction??? we will have to ask jill if thats okay??

so GIRL... its as if you taught yourself.. girls are JUST made up of every thing sweet and tender.. i have to tell you.. you might just break dads heart one day.. as he HUGS you.. loves on you.. and asks you truly .. will you always give me hugs???? of course you say yes daddy.. i love you.. as he sings.. truly why are you the cutest girl in the WHHHHHOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE world???
you say.. i donno know??
give me BIIIIIIIIGGGGGGG hug.....
everything pretty is yours..
jonah picked this flower.. and I just let you take it.. even THOUGH it was showing evidence the WHOLE way to the park.. that US americans did something SUPER DUPER RUDE!! picking someones flowers..

lets check out the ball house on a saturday morning with rain in the forecast..
NOW they know its hot right????? we are all used to just sweating... moisture at ALL times... I actually don't mind it.. I think its good to sweat.. out with the old.. in with the new.. but I always see this.. your barely playing and just drenched!!!!!!
i was looking for you to see you had found the shoes placed them on your self and started making pies.. should I be surprised?? no just proves kids KNOW.. they LOVE rules and boundires.. they really do.. i so wish I was better and being calm.. but stating.. this is how we do this.. or this is what WE DO.. this is what is expected of you.. as thats how they are here......
as even yesterday.. tad went to say goodbye.. and the VP.. pointed at her nose and told you to look her in the eyes when you say goodbye..
now have we been doing this daily since NOV.. yes.... but she wasnt rude.. but soft.. and HERE tad.. right HERE..
this is what we do...
where I feel like .. i get like COMMMMMEEEEEEE ON.. seriously HELP ME.. don't do this.. don't do that.. come ON.. I NEED your help..
instead.. I should just sing it..... please.. please.. HELP ME..

do you remember this???? they wouldtn let you sit by me.. or in the sitting room.. but it was okay to have you wait outside... good thing I had trulys iphone.. as you didn't make a peep.. the girls kept checking on you.. I love that you are a first grader.. or WERE.. as they its a right of passage.. and you can take the train by yourself.. so surely you can wait ..
NO WAY i would do this in the states.. as some one might come and take you. it really was meant to be a day of you and I .. i thought you could sit to me and talk.. as I wanted to get out.. and want you by me.. a lot lately:)

now tiff.. my TIFF... she has been SUCH A SUPER BEYOND BELIEF support!!!!!!!!! had my back.. picked up your MOM.... actually made me a better mom.... a mom that could function!!!!!!

but this might TOP it all..... as CUPS!!!!! CUPS!!!!!!! has provided inside entertainment... could NOT have come at a more needed time.. as with jonah home all day and not a utah summer.....

this is WHY i shouldnt let so much time go by.. I remember you saying something super funny that made.. dad and i laugh.. but i cant remember what???
I can see you right in your face.. MOM.....
tad....TAD.... entertainment for SURE!!!!

us on the way home from the park... party sweat and having played with the water balloons.. i remember this being a hard walk home as all this anger was coming out of you jonah..
this was the LAST day you attended school....... like I have said before... my jonah is back!!!!!

hide and go seek.. REALLY couldn't see you.. and neat you were able to scale the narrow branches...
this GUY... thinks its FUNNY to pretend you are a football... he will NOT be holding you again:)
I almost think he is a bit slow.. FUNNY in the play room.. he REALLY gets into the basket ball game.. then comes out to tell me some NBA score.. is the finals going on in the states???? YO BRO.. I have been missing "the office.. " sports is WAY down on the list of things I would tap into :)
but thanks

you's a big girl.. you went in picked out a donut.. just so you can OF COURSE lick it off and be done.. but even paid for it yourself..
life is SO valued here.. is it in the states.. I am sure.. BUT why does it feel like there is a bit more tolerance?? made just because they are so reserved.. there is something to be said with just holding your opinions to your self..
as when I leave yoga.. they wish me on my journey.. when I get a pedicure.. two people always come to the door to thank me... THANKS for coming here...and every person has two people working on them... you never see someone on a personal call..

can I just say NIGHT and DAY.. I have really felt my jonah come back... of course still has a temper.. but who doesn't.. but NOT SOOOOOO much build up anger......
funny how chiharu emails me to tell me.. SO many PEOPLE missing you.. wondering where you are..... I am SURE this is the case.. I AM SURE you partly are to blame.. as your frustration blocked your heart from being open..............
but WHERE were these children.. WHY WERENT THEY coming over?? inviting you over??????
missing the back yard.. missing the culdesac.. where it just a big melting pot!!!!!
then the thought crosses my mind.... did I let you down?? did I NOT let you have enough friends come over.. did I keep you inside.. should I have been pushing ozzy more... truly more.. not worried so much about naps???
should we have been at that park across from tads school MORE??

thanks to cheryl she told me of a museum that is right by the station.. we were having fun in FULL ON mosquito season...... we still managed to play..
amirio, azul, rojo...
thanks to dora.. she provided all the entertainment.. as we even ran into the grumpy old troll that lives under the bridge...
TOO BAD..... AT called me at noon.. to say.. YO JT.. did you forget today was HALF day???????
UUUUUMMMMMMM that would be a YES.. all the sudden being lost in the zen garden was hot, sweaty and OUT OF TIME!!!!
the breeze we caught on the bike was nice:)