as I am going thru my pictures.. I am NOW just starting to HYPER VENTILATE.. jen penn said it perfectly.. we have been in this little bubble.. where I can justify and excuse ANYTHING you.. ALL are with me at all times.. due to the language barrier.. and cultures differences.. you ended up in a safe cocoon of my arms.. I am VERY soon .. going to have to let you walk over to scotts to knock on his door.. to want to play with him.. and maybe not see or hear from you for hours..
i am GOING to have to put truly in preschool at the end of august.. to really have that process of growing up EVEN more.. starts its path..
this has been hard in many ways.. TIRED.. EXHAUSTED... however.. as you MOM.. I WILL always look back on this time.. with endearment of US.. PURE TIGHT US TIME.. really only actives going on.. were to please you all.. yes I did the yoga.. but not really a whole a lot of much else.. I did the brain numbing websurfing..emails trying to keep my brain jogged with MY SUPPORT OF FRIENDS.. but again.. all really and truly was geared towards you all.. life of course is just that.. but REALLY here.. LITTLE distractions.. it is for sure time to check into reality.. get to serving others.. but man what a treat this has been.. and to think you all will have little or no memory of it.. i will find new ways to sneak in this family time.. steal it if I have to.. i sure do love you all.
jonah. funny you emotionally support me.. and RIDE me..
tad.. you have become my side kick.. in this TINY apt.. I am CONSTANTLY running into you.. MY FAVORITE funny happened yesterday.. while watching you in the train station... ( it was crowded.. we all were exhausted but I kept my eye on you.. to make SURE you saw where we were going.. i totally watched you go into a FREAK panic attack to say .. HEY tad. I am right here.. come on.. it was SO FUNNY to see your face change.. as if you hadn't even been in a panic mode AT ALL. you just ran right to me. to say whoa.. I thought i lost you.. tad.. TAD..
truly from the DAY you were born.. you have been trying to tell me.. YO.. YO.. I can do it on my own.. i have completely surrendered.. to say THANK you.. THANK you for being so STRONG.. as train station stairs.. I CAN DO IT.. you push who ever helps you.. and go right to the far left..or right.. which ever is the correct flow of direction.. to completely be able to not only make the stairs .. but keep up with us..
even today while at the park.. it was HUMID.. HOT and SWEATY.. you just kept on walking.. walking.. jumping running.. keeping up with the pace.. never ONCE crying cause you were tired.. or needed to be held.. makes life easier.. NOW that I have learned how to give you some space!!! I wish I could show you ALL the distance you have walked.. it truly is amazing!!!!! but that you.. truly amazing..
ozzy I HAD to have you last.. no two ways about it.. as NO way COULD i have APPRECIATED you like I do.. with OUT knowing what a GIFT you are!!! you are PEACE.. you throw out smiles to everyone!!!! you engage with everyone!!!! you snuggle right into my neck!!!!! you kindly ask.. hey.. come on. i have WAITED my turn.. this is just wrong in every way.. HELP me!!!! PLEASE!! never rude.. just a PLEASE!!!!!! makes me feel bad that you ever have to wait!!!!! but you are the fourth.. and with that comes STRONG!!!! which you are peace.. but FOR SURE.. NO LIGHT WEIGHT!!!!!